Archive for August, 2010

I’m just a wee bit pissed off this morning with a bunch of people who really should know better. The SDU mod team, or rather the man hiding behind them, I should say.

Why am I pissed off? I’ve been accused of trying to use the site for free advertising. This happened after I told one guy I’d fuck him in the arse for the standard rate after he complained about the price he was quoted for anal on the girl in a parlour.

What kind of idiot mistakes me being a full on smart ass for me trying to get a booking? There’s a huge difference.

The reason that pissed me off is that I find such behaviour low. Very low. It is stealing. I am happy to pay for my advertising, and always have been. When I am dealing with people such as the owner of that forum, who has known me for YEARS, I kinda expect them to acknowledge that I am a good person who wouldn’t stoop to such levels to get work… You spend years getting to know people, and then they throw it in your face.

What is the fucking point of building a reputation as a straight shooter who is honest and trustworthy, if you have fucktards behind the scenes trying to smear mud on it?

I’m over having to defend what I shouldn’t have to defend. To all the people I’ve told in the past to join SDU, I take it back if you joined so we could hang out online – I won’t be logging in until I get a formal apology for this ridiculousness. As there is fuckall chance of that happening, I just won’t be logging in again.

Anyway, enough about that. Oh, one more thing – how do I get the banner for SDU off of my website? I don’t want to be providing free advertising for any site I am not affiliated with. I’m pretty sure I just hit delete…. Or you know, the owner of SDU could apologise for being rude and ungrateful, and perhaps thank me for the year or so of free promotion he has been getting. And pigs might fly, also.

Another thing – as I’ll lose the link to my reviews when I remove the banner, can guys who’ve previously reviewed me please send me copies so I can publish them on a reviews page of my own?

Well, today is NO BOOKINGS DAY!! I wouldn’t normally say WOOT but I swear one more shag yesterday and I would have had to carry my pussy home in a box. I had to knock back one of my fave boys because I knew I’d get a pounding, and that Ms Kitty in my pants wasn’t up to the job.

Mind you, I worked out while I was falling asleep last night that I would still barely have time to get through all the running around I have to do today. Today I have to do all the stuff I couldn’t do while I was at work all week. Stuff like ring Telstra and find out where the hell my internet is, and why is the foxtel not working please? Stuff like going to the bank and finding out why my direct deposits to the real estate were stopped, and also going to the real estate and fixing up the rent that didn’t get paid when the bank stopped the payments.You know, annoying, time consuming, tedious waste of time type stuff.

Awesome day off, huh?

The funnest thing I get to do today is work out what I am wearing to the Neil Gaiman reading I’m going to with Alias on Saturday night – I’m uber excited I havn’t decided whether I want to be cute, or fashion forward, or ethereal, or classy or eclectic. I’m thinking one of those things will do it

Ooh, just thought of another fun thing I can do before I have to go and do all the boring stuff – play with my puppies!! I went and spoke to the neighbors yesterday to sort out the fencing issues, so hopefully soon M can be untied soon and have free range of the yard again. I feel really sorry for him being tied up, but I just can’t risk him getting out again.At the moment chicken wire is being discussed as a possible solution.

OK, times a wasting. Sorry it’s a bit of  a cranky blog. I’ll feel better when I get all these stupid un-fun chores out of the way. I’m really not too impressed about reality getting in the way of me having an actual break where I can feel relaxed and unhasseled and happy to just sloth and do nothing, or maybe even watch a tv show or a DVD or even, god forbid, hang out with my friends.

I am very much in need of a day where I can do all those things. Maybe it will happen next weekend. That would be awesome.

Lani xx

“Catalyst” is the theme for one of my all time favourite novels, Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb. From my understanding of it, catalysts are like crossroads – something happens, it forces you to take a path you may not have taken before,  as the option wasn’t there earlier.

Anything can be a catalyst. Finding an injured bunny and deciding that your true path should have been veterinary medicine, and taking steps to correct that. Maybe your catalyst was not being able to fasten up your jeans one day, and now you run marathons.Perhaps you got sick of opening 2 jars at breakfast time, and now you are the dude who invented peanut butter and jelly in the same jar…. I don’t know.

I had a catalystic event yesterday. Just a little one. I’ll tell you a bit later. It’s not as good as peanut butter and jelly in a jar, but it’s pretty good.

Yesterday was the day where I was a fucking machine, in a few different ways.

First of all, please join with me in celebrating the fact that I got to tell Tony, the arrogant prick of an apartment dude, that I was wouldn’t be needing his apartments any more on Tuesday. YAY. I was really really sick of their absolute lack of customer service, and I was starting to take it personally. I mean, he was SO fucking RUDE.

So I tell him to stick it, but politely. OK, maybe I also said that I was going to take some time to write up a lil feedback for the accommodation websites, but Wifey told me that night there would be no point – he’s already got a reputation for assholery, and it is all over the net. It’s well deserved too.

There was a catalyst for this event too. It’s not the original one I thought of, but I like the theme, so we’ll stick with it. I was with Arch Bishop, I’d had a flustering sort of day, when Wifey frantically texted me that the apartment people wanted me to move again. I wasn’t due to leave, and they knew we wanted to extend, so that was slightly out of order – I was seconds away from riding the bishops staff when I got the message. I was given less than an hours notice, on a weekday around 11am, that I had to pack up the apartment, and move to a suburb way too close to home.

I tried to salvage the booking, I mean, I was supposed to be in an all day booking, in that apartment. I asked Wifey to call them back and explain that I was at work and wouldn’t be able to move until around 6pm. The response back was “move your shit or we’ll move it for you.” Well, that’s nice. When I heard that and realised that these people had fucked more than one booking for me recently, I decided I just couldn’t afford their incompetence any more, and asked Wifey to start looking for someone else to book through.

After ringing around nearly all day, she came across our Angel Lady. She found me a great apartment on the harbour for the rest of this week, and asked about a weekly rate for it, and was given a flat out no.

When I met the lovely old dear yesterday morning bright and early, she was adorable. She showed me the apartment, asked me what I was looking for, and what I’d been doing for accommodation to date and that sort of thing, and then after sussing me out announced that if I was happy with a studio apartment (I can deal with that) then she had just the thing for me…. Hey, Archbishop and Boater, it’s identical to the apartment I got moved from this week Cute, huh?

AND she knew all about Tony the Crappy Apartment Dude – her offices are across the road from his, and she gets more business from disgruntled people walking out of his building and into hers then through internet advertising lolz. She said he has a particular hatred of women – we would have received better treatment if we were men apparently, and that there is a reason he shuffles people from apartment to apartment all the time – he has some contract with the floating dock in the harbour, and takes the sailors off the boats that are in for repair and puts them up – anyone else he will shuffle until he can fit everyone in.

Well, at least it wasn’t just me I guess. I was starting to think maybe he just hated me quite a lot.

Not only did she offer me a really cute apartment, she said that after what I had been through with Tony, she wouldn’t bother me AT ALL, and would continue to process me credit card for the weekly rate every Monday, until I told her to stop. FUCKING WOOOOOTTT!!!!!! No more moving after next Monday, I can’t fucking believe it!!

So, between us Wifey and I solved what has been a major pain in the rear end for us. Her because she has to deal with me when I am all pissed off about it mainly, me because I have to lug stuff, heavy stuff, a lot.

I had one of my most PSE clients yesterday too – and as usual it was really full on and intense, but what was not usual was the length of the booking – it was 2 hours of omfg, instead of the usual one. Plus the apartment for this week is pretty much all stairs, with rooms at odd intervals. Oh, and Archie spent all of Tuesday refusing to anoint me, after traveling  all that way to do it, so I went back at 5am for an early morning blessing… Yesterday was pretty full on, all round.

The other thing I did yesterday was fix up the rest of the money I owed on that ladies car. Phew. I’m glad that’s out of the way. Speaking of cars… Back to the catalystic event I was hinting at before. It involves cars as well. So I was driving home after the huge day that was yesterday, quite naughtily chatting to Alias on the telephone, when behind me, and in the mirror, there are those horrible blue and red flashing lights and a “BEWWWW BEWWWW” sound.

FAAARKSTICKS. Busted.

The policewoman was as merciless and unforgiving as she could be – she even checked my cars tires and stuff. I had a minor panic attack and teared up because I thought my license was gone – she actually told me to call the RTA  because she was pretty sure my license was gone too. Thanks mate.

So – Catalyst. I rang the RTA, got a nice young girl who was very understanding about me being a bit freaked out, and found out I had NOT lost my license…. but I did only have one point left, and if I lost that I was gone for 3 months back to the land of the pedestrian/ taxi reliant lifestyle. It was the kick up the bum I needed…. I booked in for that test I promised you all I was going to do last week and then quietly failed to follow through with. Sorry about that, I was kinda hoping no one would notice, but yeah.

I’m please to report that these are the ramblings of someone who upgraded to green P’s yesterday And then vomited into a disposable cup in the carpark afterwards. I really hate tests. I am however exceedingly pleased that I managed not to vomit in the building in front of people, I was pretty sure that after my tummy started on spin cycle about a 3rd of the way into the test that we were going to have a bit of an incident, but no, all good, pretty much

Anyhoo, I have another big day ahead of me today, and then tomorrow is LAZY DAY FOR LANI. I’m not doing bookings tomorrow at all, because my poor dogs need a day at the beach and also I have to go sort out my direct debits – apparently something at the bank went pearshaped and now I owe a lot of rent that I thought was being paid but it wasn’t. Garr.Admin stuff that is about ticking boxes and dotting i’s and crossing t’s really isn’t my forte…

As for writing this up in word and then publishing, well that would be the sensible way, wouldn’t it lolz. I am not at all sensible a good deal of the time, so I will continue to write it up in WordPress and then press “save draft” at the end of every paragraph… that’ll work too lolz.

Ok, must dash, I’ve been blogging longer than I really should have

Lani xx

Because he kept me back late at work yesterday by being all snuggly and conversational looong past hometime, but I liked it. It was really nice to be having a warm day under the covers – This apartment is no better than the others for keeping itself warm. Outside of the covers it was brisk and chilly and not very pleasant at all.

I’m continually wondering why the fuck people would ever choose to live in a cold climate – it’s totally beyond me. I mean, Australia is supposed to be a hot country, but it’s too cold for me even here in the winter. I’d be all kinds of screwed if I was to try and brave a London winter, for example. It is something I want to do one day…. I’m kinda put off by the BBBJ culture in London’s sex scene, apparently its pretty near standard, and what with me not being too sure of the modern Brit’ policies on hygiene, and Monty Python giving me a few hints as to his sexuality, I’m just not sure I’m up to it lolz. OK, that bit was bollocks

I really do want to visit England, and Europe, and parts of the US, and South America, in particular Machu Picchu, that would be pretty awesome. I was reminded how important it is to me while chatting to Mr Frequent Flier yesterday, who has a very jet setting style of life, and made me writhe with jealousy while he was talking about visiting New York and San Fran and even the home of Oprah, Chicago, where it got so cold one winter that they couldn’t heat the bottom floor of the buildings, and everyone had to have brekky in their Parkas hehehe.

Oh, Africa too. Definitely still want to visit Africa…. Maybe not so much as I did before my friend…. ooh, she isn’t named in my blog yet.

this is not even half the blog I wrote this morning, its just the only fucking part of it that saved to drafts. then wordpress asked me to log in when I said publish, and this is all that remains of a good 2 hours work. I am FURIOUS.

Does anyone know how to make this fuckwitted piece of crap save every 2 seconds or something? WHAT THE FUCK is the point of saving automatically to drafts if it only gets the first 3rd of what you wrote?

IT WAS A FUCKING GOOD BLOG TODAY TOO.

raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnntttttttt.

I just wrote a thousand word blog. WordPress conveniently fucking lost it when I told it to publish. Too angry to write it all again, sorry.

Stupid Winter. Nick off already, no one here likes you. You smell funny.

Damn winter is still hanging around even though I have more than had my fill of it. I want Newcastle to have Thai weather. The weather in Thailand was fucking DELICIOUS!! Steamy and hot enough to make you regret wearing a satin shirt, cool enough for a refreshing breeze to hit your boobies if you take it off. Hot at night too, perfect for the half moon party that happened every night I was there

I wanna go back to Thailand. It’s waaaay too cold here. I want coconuts and beach dancing. I want to ride a freakin elephant – I still havn’t done that yet.

Most of all I would like my fingers to defrost. Stabby pain is flying at me from my keyboard as I type. This is not cool.

I have an all day booking today with someone I’ve really really enjoyed typing to and reading, but whom I’ve only met briefly and not in the sexual sense. I have a feeling I am going to get the shit fucked out of me today. The crazy hair may reach new and heretofore unexplored heights. I’m going to go do a little grocery shop on my way over to the apartment today to buy me some carb related foods that can be eaten off a friend… I’m nervous about not getting a lunchbreak and passing out from overshagging and undereating lolz. I get a little competitive and carried away with myself at times lol

Hmm… 7.30am already…. I better email him the address, I moved further than I thought I would yesterday (grr aptmt ppl)… 2 secs please…. *elevator music* OK text sent, he’d already texted me he was leaving

Wow… Struggling to wake up today. Not cool. Sorry if my blog is crap, I keep doing big blank stares at the screen and not typing anything lolz. Maybe I should have showered first today to snap myself out of it. I was woken by Princess doing her best HoeDown Yodel for breakfast. She was a vewy hungwy kitty this morning. Absolutely no sympathy for her poor sleepy owner having to deal with the wet food before coffee, just huge strangulated meowlings, scraping harshly against my poor bewildered eardrums until she could bury her face in an unattractive pile of fishy goo. That’s how I woke up today.

I really need to go reset that alarm clock. Wifey switched it off at the wall accidentally one time, months ago, and I have been ignoring it ever since.

Thanks everyone for the advice on pricing yesterday, there were a few handy little nuggets of wisdom in what I saw… Wifey is going to help me do a draft business plan before we act on anything.

A heads up for what is likely to happen is that happy hour prices will have to go up a little, while overnights and weekender bookings will be coming down a lot. I’m also considering doing daytime rates on tours, and touring slightly more often than I have been recently, but at the moment things will be staying the same for at least the next few weeks, so no panicking prior to the event please. I have to do all the maths first.

Mowby, you’ll be pleased to know that I will be keeping your rate the same, and actually advertising it as a pensioner/disability card holders rate, but I’ll be limiting availability to one day a week, I havn’t decided which day yet. People on limited budgets deserve to get their jollies too. Especially if they are on limited budgets because they are retired or not able to work any more due to medical reasons.

Bluergh. Need more coffee. This coffee is not helping as much as it should. Going for coffee. Bye now.

Lani xx

P.S. Will try for more dignified exit tomorrow.