Archive for September, 2010

Yep. Umm. Sorry about yesterday, people who I stood up without phoning, I was a wee bit upset after my flatmate got all her gear out of the house. Domestic dramas are never easy or fun, in my experience. I’m fine, thanks for asking. Don’t really want to go into it, but I will say the last straw was the note she wrote with the Socialist Alliance quote from the speech protesting work choices (yeah, wifey, I can use google too)  Any one else who wants to compare me to Howard can also get fucked. Obvious short jokes will be punished with testicular type torture.

This means the current plan of action for incalls won’t work for me now – it only worked because dinner was waiting for me when I got home. I’m living by myself again now so I’ll have to get back into the habit of being home in time to cook dinner. Back to the drawing board again I think. I have a few ideas, I’m going to consider my options over the next week or so… One idea is working a couple of weekends a month like I do when I’m on tour – which means I don’t clock off when the nanas do, I try and stay up like a proper lady of the night would

If that sounds good, let me know. It’s definitely an option. I kinda miss the crazy 2am booty calls, I feel like Hobart and Launceston were ages and ages ago, it feels like I havn’t left Newcastle in forever lolz.

Ooh- I got a very tempting invite to come down to Melbourne in the near future. It was in Poem form – hows that for putting in some effort!! I’m also supposed to be visiting Adelaide soon, as Admin Monkey has done some impressive work on the website, and an even more impressive job of teaching me how to do it myself, so I’m going to do things to his penis that will hopefully cause his eyeballs to implode. That should take, oh… 2 minutes? so if anyone wants to help me while away the other hours I’ll be in Adelaide, send me a line

I’m thinking either in a week or in a month for the trip, so please let me know if you have any solid preference… I’m not really fussed, but I do have to be here at the end of September cos Amber said she was visiting then, and it would awfully rude of me not to be at home…. besides, I want to play with her boobies What? You do too, so shut up

Just so you know peoples, the plan to reconnect with my non lani self has been working Lots of my friends are talking to me again, and I’ve been invited to a couple of parties and to dinner and found out a bunch of goss and politics and stuff. They don’t hate me, it’s just that I’ve been a snobby bitch to them lately lolz.

I’m feeling more relaxed and happier as a result, and I believe Wifey moving out and giving the grumpy bear back her cave will be for the best – I’ve always needed a lot of alone time, and the difference in the atmosphere of the house is already palpable – its quiet, except for the white noise of the fridge and the dryer… I like white noise. Is that weird?

Anyway, I’ve got to head up to Nelsons Bay this morning to do a 3 hour booking, which should be lots of fun – I havn’t had a decent shag in a few days now… It’s not good lolz. It’ll be good to get my sexy on, and I’ve got some left over anxst from yesterday to work out lolz.

Oh, speaking of working out, I’m contemplating rejoining the gym. I’m feeling pretty fit again, except my asthma is being a bitch right now, and I want to see if I can get a Sasha Grey physique happening. That girl is toned!!!! I remember an avatar of her back that was on FIA years ago – phwoar!! You could see like every single muscle in her back – and not in a scary way either.

Just a bit of Lani Trivia – Which girls banner on FIA inspired Tubby Brunette Lani to slim down and blonde up? Whoever guesses correctly first can have a half price hour booking next time I’m doing incalls Your clue is she is still around but very quiet these days, and that it isn’t Kelly Martyn.

Anyhoo, better go jump in the shower. I’m wearing wicked weasels today, trying to decide between pink and grey…..

Lani xx

Or it’s sunny in my corner of the world, anyway I bet someone out there is getting rained on right now, I’m just glad that today it isn’t me

I feel so much better after a big sleep, I tells ya!! Wifey and I drove down to Sydney to catch up with some friends at SDU Drinks. Well, that was the plan anyways. It didn’t quite pan out like that. We drove down the middle lane of the freeway, quite lawfully sticking to the 100ks an hour that is all I am allowed to do on my green P’s, chatting away about all the possibilities the night held, when the car went wobblewobblewobbleSHAKESHAKESHAKEBANG!!

This I was not expecting. It was the new car. After the bang it went Flumbleflumbleflumble, and somehow, I’m not quite sure now how I did it, I got out from between the truck and the 4wheeldrive either side of me and limped off to the side of the road. Then I panicked, after the car was safely (well – ish.. ) parked and the damage had been inspected… there were wires hanging out of the wheel. Ain’t never seen that before – very freaky.

Wifey was very impressed and grateful that I didn’t get pale and shaky til it was all dealt with. I do that when it’s necessary, and every time I have a blank spot in my memory from the intense bits of the action – I can never remember what happens between realising something huge is happening and realising we’re past the worst of it. Does this happen to anyone else? Adrenalin fueled amnesia maybe?

I don’t know lolz. Anyway, stuff to do and all that, I ran out of time to tell you about drinks properly. Heres the quick version.  Amber had pretty hair and Tessa was gone when I got there. I think I missed all the really fun bits…. everyone left soon after I got there The strippers at Bada Bings were a prudish lot, nary a titty to be seen

Wifey was amazed at how tall Mason wasn’t, I think she was expecting someone different lol. Mason and Amber both tried to steal my wife, and Maka for some reason still thinks he has first dibs on her when she gets sick of me lolz. Abigail disappeared while I wasn’t watching, and as hard as I tried, even roping in Jenna to help, Eggsy wouldn’t get his groove on. Last drinks was better, but not because it was in Melbourne. Maybe just cos I got there before midnight.

Eurgh. GTG, must pee. Too much coffee.

Lani xx

PS the tire exploded in wirey and burnt rubber smelling awesomeness. There was no doubt whatsoever that it was not just flat but partially inside out. Sorry Boater, I must have been distracted by my bladder yesterday, I didn’t explain it very well, did I?

There’s a really quick and easy way, demonstrated by Some Douche On The Phone about 10 minutes ago.

Call me and tell me you saw the add with my picture and phone number in the paper and then ask me the rates and to describe myself and my service… You must claim not to have seen the website.You didn’t even know there was a website.

Why does this shit me? I’ve never used an ad with a pic and a number – that’s another girl in Newcastle. I only ever use my website as a point of contact, so anyone calling me has seen the website. Or possibly a cached ad from a classifieds thingy. He did specify newspaper ad tho, so I highly doubt it… website with pictures and rates and descriptions and reviews already there for his convenience would be my bet.

Dude, if you want to ring for a sly wank while pretending to be interested in a booking, at least get your story straight first. Or you could be decent about things and put the $$ for a phone sex booking in my account, that works just as well, and leaves me feeling much less like some horrible skeeze just tried to cheat me out of a buck.

Grumble grumble grumble. I’d like a nice headjob now to cheer me up please. Anyone keen?

Lani xx

Ahh thats better. I was a little bit sex starved before yesterday…. All fixed up now. Ok, maybe not totally fixed up, I reckon I could easily go another round or two Just sayin hehe.

Today I’ll be in a little apartment in Hamilton, which is actually a lot nicer than I was expecting it to be I worked yesterday for a few hours… Well, I say worked, but when that mainly consists of a phone sex wank and a half hour tumble with someone who I have to admit is a slight favourite….. lolz.

There was supposed to be another hour booking, and he turned up and paid his way just like everyone else, and after a little while chickened out and admitted he had the guilts bigtime and couldn’t go through with it. He seemed nice enough, and I felt like his good morals should be rewarded, so I talked him into at least having a look at all my wizzbang tools and having a coffee…. That way at least he got something interesting and a bit different in his hour… he’d already seen my vageen so a refund was off the table, but I didn’t want to send him away with a guilty conscience and an empty wallet and he had already knocked back the Bill Clinton alternative…. Apparently the President’s excuse was not good enough hehehe. Well, points for moral stamina in the face of prospective blowjobs anyway I did my best to be convincing

The Thursday dinner dates seem to be getting a little popular I’m happy with that, my plan to be semi employed seems to be working hehehe. Yay for spare time, and yay for being lazy I’m sorry I was such a grump over the last few months, I keep forgetting I don’t have superpowers and trying to power along at light speed, doing everything myself and getting cross when the many balls I juggle all fall out of the sky. I forget that I can’t juggle either. It doesn’t help my cause

Anyway, I’ve packed up all my juggling gear, and have put my Lani self in her place – Time for a bit of work/life balance, I reckon. At the very least I’m getting fitter from all the beach runs with the dogs, and that can’t be such a bad thing. Ok… time is a wasting, and I have to go find something to wear today

Lani xx