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Its a good day to be indoors

And so I don’t intend to leave the house today. I’ve got a warm heater here, and an electric blanket is currently making the bed all toasty, and I intend to abuse the aforementioned to the point that clothing becomes totally optional and ice cream starts seeming like an excellent lunch.

So I’ll be doing some boring business admin today. I’m available for bookings as well, because everyone knows that you need a break from staring at screens every so often or you’ll go blind. Another thing everyone knows is that if you masturbate too often you’ll go blind. Lets keep everyones eyes healthy and come together (pun intended) to avoid damaged eyesight. Hooray for teamwork!

I can’t think of anything else to write about, which is a pity because I promised myself that I would clean the kitchen after I finished blogging for today, and I want to avoid that for as long as humanly possible, or until someone else does it instead. I detest doing the dishes, but I love sparkling clean kitchens. I suppose one way to achieve that would be to rope the kitchen off and use it for display purposes only, which describes my early 20’s, but home cooked food is some of the best food, so you lose out either way.

My inner domestic goddess is a lazy slattern, I’m afraid. This is why when Wifey and I have lived together, she does all the domestics, and I organise all the social activities and look after the car. Yes, this is hilarious, I can’t look after mechanical things, but I am better at it than Wifey is. Now that Wifey is off playing wife for real, I am left to my own devices. This is somewhat problematic, but as luck would have it, I have adopted a young apprentice who is skilled in the domestic arts. She doesn’t live with me, but that doesn’t stop her from doing my dishes when they need to be done.

I met my little apprentice Delilah when she was dating one of my ex clients. He was worried about her as she’d mentioned toying with the idea of becoming an escort… little did he know that she was already working. We were introduced so I could play mama bear and keep poor sweet Delilah from being eaten by all the bad men. Ha! She may be sweet but she chews up men and spits them out before breakfast, she’s more hardcore in certain areas than I have ever been.

Delilah was pretty curvy with an ass that just would not quit when we met, and she asked me, before my first hospitalisation, if I could train her as at that stage I was the energiser bunny, manic as anything, and doing insane amounts of personal training and running and crossfit and cheerleading and circus and pole dancing and … look, I was not well at the time and I didn’t put any limits on my time or my energy, but I was fit. SO FIT. I had abs. They were great. Anyway, I digress. Delilah asked me to train her, and I said yes, only to realise that I had no idea how to train someone with her needs. So I did a cert 3 in Fitness when I was discharged from hospital, and we started training together. She has lost 20 kilos so far, so her training has been more successful and productive than mine, but I get to take all the credit as her PT 😉

Speaking of PTs, Happy Josh is off sick again this week. I should take myself to the gym today, but that means going out in the rain. I’d much rather stay at home and do a workout in the work room. If I get some company, this can be in the form of frantic lovemaking, but I guess if its a quiet day I can always drag out the kettlebell. I’m finding that its easier to do things like a kettlebell workout if you’re held accountable for it, so if anyone wants to hassle me about moving my ass in the name of being supportive of my fitness goals, the comment section is the place to do it. Extra points and possibly snapchatted titty pictures for inspirational or motivational posts that result in my doing actual exercise.

Back to Delilah again, I’ll give her a bit of a plug because why not – its the least I can do after all the dishes she’s done for me. She’s still got dangerous curves, and is classified as a BBW, but if you like that sort of thing you better book her before she melts away, she’s losing weight at a rate of knots. She has long light brown wavy hair, big green eyes and a very pretty mouth. She loves it in the butt, and her rates are quite reasonable for a teenage nympho with a fetish for hard anal. She doesn’t have a website yet, but heres a link to her latest ad.

I’ve been off having adventures again. I’ve been travelling further and further for bookings, and I think I might be nearly ready to drag out my suitcase and start touring occasionally again. I don’t know if I will ever get back to the frantic pace I kept up previously, I don’t think its good for my health, but my lord I miss hotel breakfasts and travelling to far flung places. I miss Canberra and Tasmania and and Melbourne and Adelaide, and all the beautiful friends I have made that I just don’t get to see anymore. For a long time I didn’t think I would ever be capable of travelling again, but I am feeling more and more myself these days, and its no longer out of the realm of possibility. Hands up anyone who would have me over for a cup of tea and a quick shag, via email if you’re shy. I’m not even planning tours yet, I just want to know if there will be friendly faces welcoming me if I did.

Oh, one last thing, wise and all knowing blog readers. What can you tell me about using a registered business name (or a very close approximation) if someone else has already registered that business name? What are the likely consequences? Thanks in advance for any information.

Have a  fantastic day everyone!

Lani xx

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